This is an old sales tactic I was taught many years ago. It’s helped me in my sales career, but more importantly it also helps me A LOT with personal situations outside of work. It’s called:
Feel Felt Found
When someone comes to you with a problem, an objection, a complaint, or a narrow mindset… Try and structure your response around the words feel, felt, and found.
These words build trust, ease tension, and gently guide the other person to a new way of thinking. Here’s a couple examples:
Sally just got turned down for a job. She’s starting to believe that nobody will ever hire her. You could say: “I understand how you feel right now, Sally. Many others have felt the exact same way while job hunting. It’s tough! What they eventually found is that staying persistent and maintaining a positive attitude leads to a job that’s much better suited.”
Steven wants to spend his $6k tax refund on a new car downpayment. But you think he’ll probably regret it later. You could say: “Nice refund, Steven! You must feel so rich having big money in your bank account! In Warren Buffet’s autobiography he wrote that he felt the exact same when he got his first large tax refund… He wanted to buy a new car! But what he later found was investing his tax refunds each year gave him a huge financial advantage later in life.”
Feel – tells the person you understand and validates their feeling.
Felt – tells the person they are not alone
Found – urges them to consider doing xx action, to achieve yy results.
Try it out! Let me know what you think. Also, here’s a related trick you might also like: Mirroring build trust! 🙂
Have a great day,
– Joel
*Photo up top by Colin Watts